Why I hate the word wifey, Part 2 out of 3: Lowering expectations for BW

I touched on this in part 1 but I’m returning to this in part 2. Any time a man refers to you and/or any woman as wifey, he’s trying to lower your expectations.

I would think that most women, except lesbians, desire to be married and to have children. When we were girls and we played house, someone was always the Mommy and someone always played Daddy. Even as children, we knew the natural course of things. As we aged, things got skewed and lost our way. We got bamboozled and jedi mind tricked into believing some real wicked propaganda.

Music is one of the best ways to spread propaganda. Hitler used music as one of the ways to spread his view of the Third Reich and in the end, we got WWII and the Holocaust. Music was used in Rwanda during the ethnic cleansing. In the 1960s, with the sexual revolution, civil rights movement, emergence of drugs, etc., the music reflected the goals of the change (the Beatles and “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds,” Jefferson Airplane, “Someone to Love,” James Brown, Marvin Gaye.)

There is a war to break BW down and to make them believe that they only deserve whatever a BM can give them. The biggest instrument right now in this war is rap music. The bass is infectious and it just drives the words the rapper speaks into your mind and your subconscious (b***h, ho, n***a, etc.) and the lyrics are crafted in a way that even the most horrible rapper can punctuate what he wants you to hear and the phrases will stick in your mind. Every time a rapper says wifey, its usually in a sing-song way that demeans women and it sticks in your brain. Yet, it’s not as demeaning when you first hear it as some of the other words/scenarios used to refer to women.

Given how the rest of the music slanders BW, the term can sound somewhat pleasant and not bad. Now, you’re caught.

Hello world!

Hi!

Welcome to my small place in cyberspace! I had been thinking of having a blog for over a year now, but after Khadija decided to close shop with her blog, I figured that it is time for me to open mine.

This is a blog dedicated towards empowering black women. Time is running short, the black community is pretty much all but dead and as the economy worsens, its going to become more of a case of everyone for themselves. We CANNOT afford to keep doing the same old thing: focus and uplift the black man OVER ourselves. We, Black Women, can’t kill our minds, bodies, and souls to support people who do everything NOT to support us. This is why I’ve titled my blog “It’s time to gorw, expand, and let go!”

Why I don’t like the word “Wifey” part 1

Wifey.

If you grew up in the late 90s-early 00s like I did, you know all about the word “Wifey.”

Wifey, according to rappers, is supposed to be down woman who held the rappers’ back when he was out grinding in the streets. Everything is cool for her so the rapper gives her anything she wants… except a ring. She was basically the wife in everything but the name but of course, he couldn’t marry her because he couldn’t mess around with any other women that might catch his eye if he married her. Plus, these rappers brag that “wifey” doesn’t care about the other women anyway.

Many black women have come to accept being “wifey.” Because of the many scare tactics “The DL men are taking over,” “There aren’t enough black men so get one if you can,” “Black men only want white/asian/latina/mixed women,” black women are being taken in by the okey-doke and settling for being the “wifey” only. Mind you, many times in these relationships, the wifey is no more than just one girlfriend, the man has many other “wifeys” as well.

What I’ve found so far in my short life is that any time you settle for something less than, you end up hurting yourself in the long run. The man doesn’t respect you, no matter how many of his kids you have. Other women don’t respect you, especially if you’ve been the “wifey” for 1+ years. And the law doesn’t respect you because if something happens, you have NO RIGHTS as being just the “wifey” instead of being a wife. And ultimately, odds are that he’ll move on and you’ll have nothing but an empty bag full of broken dreams and children born out of wedlock.