I touched on this in part 1 but I’m returning to this in part 2. Any time a man refers to you and/or any woman as wifey, he’s trying to lower your expectations.
I would think that most women, except lesbians, desire to be married and to have children. When we were girls and we played house, someone was always the Mommy and someone always played Daddy. Even as children, we knew the natural course of things. As we aged, things got skewed and lost our way. We got bamboozled and jedi mind tricked into believing some real wicked propaganda.
Music is one of the best ways to spread propaganda. Hitler used music as one of the ways to spread his view of the Third Reich and in the end, we got WWII and the Holocaust. Music was used in Rwanda during the ethnic cleansing. In the 1960s, with the sexual revolution, civil rights movement, emergence of drugs, etc., the music reflected the goals of the change (the Beatles and “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds,” Jefferson Airplane, “Someone to Love,” James Brown, Marvin Gaye.)
There is a war to break BW down and to make them believe that they only deserve whatever a BM can give them. The biggest instrument right now in this war is rap music. The bass is infectious and it just drives the words the rapper speaks into your mind and your subconscious (b***h, ho, n***a, etc.) and the lyrics are crafted in a way that even the most horrible rapper can punctuate what he wants you to hear and the phrases will stick in your mind. Every time a rapper says wifey, its usually in a sing-song way that demeans women and it sticks in your brain. Yet, it’s not as demeaning when you first hear it as some of the other words/scenarios used to refer to women.
Given how the rest of the music slanders BW, the term can sound somewhat pleasant and not bad. Now, you’re caught.
Oh man, if you knew what CDs and tapes (yes, I still have/play those, lol) I gotta throw out to set an example…I may have, oh, about ten of each remaining.
When I read part one, a song went through my head by an r&b trio of yesteryear. The title, you ask? “Wifey.” ugh.
Needless to say, I’ve since become an urban music misanthrope: it’s so bad now that if I hear T-Pain, say, in a store, I will literally get a headache and almost run out of the store just to get relief from the onslaught!
Comment by rainebeaux — September 30, 2009 @ 8:57 pm
So, these rappers have given the word wife a bad name?
Comment by Ann — October 1, 2009 @ 10:21 pm
@ Ann: No, they’ve just made a derivative of the word that’s insulting.
@ rainebeaux: 3 years ago, I deleted a whole lot of rap stuff and a good deal of r&b after I started to really listen to the lyrics. It’s crazy.
Comment by timetokeepitreal — October 1, 2009 @ 11:10 pm
I totally agree with your views on “Wifey”. These DBRs reverted to that when black women started complaining about being called “Boo” and the majority of them ate it right up.
Hmph!
Comment by Aina — October 1, 2009 @ 11:51 pm
Oh you can’t forget little mamma. My mom got on a bm that called me that when I was around 12 or 13. At first I didn’t understand what she was upset about, because we said it all the time in school etc., but as I got older I got why she was upset and how inappropriate calling a girl lil mamma really is.
So, these rappers have given the word wife a bad name?
A wifey isn’t even a wife. She can be his babymomma, one of his many girlfriends etc. Basically they just found a cute term to explain being rolling stones.
Comment by Amanda — October 4, 2009 @ 12:37 am
The ‘y’ in wifey is for why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? or why bother considering a sista as an equal when it’s easier to talk her into staying in the hood (via babymamahood and/or other nefarious means)? or, just plain yokel.
Comment by rainebeaux — October 6, 2009 @ 9:33 pm
Hotel, Motel,Holiday Inn(say what) say ify our girl starts actin up, then you take her friend? hunh- the FIRST RAP HIT SONG and we didnt even see it; rap was anti black women all along; if you are in a romantic mood; put some Luther Vandross or Nat King Cole on
Comment by calpurnia — December 14, 2009 @ 2:18 pm