Black men, the penis…. brief version

Originally, I wasn’t planning on updating tonight. The Phils are on and I’m rooting for my team but a post on Faith’s blog (Acts of Faith in Love and Life) reminded me of the next topic I was going to approach: Black Men and their penis. This is the brief overview, I’ll probably go in depth in the future.

No other men in the world has championed their penis like African-American Black Men. Latino men have the stereotype of being the “Latin lover,” but they aren’t tied into their penis like black men are. From your regular cookie cutter BW hating rap song to your R&B “lemme get yo panties, gurl” song to movies and books, BM are lauded for supposedly having the biggest penises on earth. Many times as a young BW, I’ve had random BM come up to me from when I was in high school through college to now, telling me how big their penis is and how good it’ll feel, etc. It was like their “big” penis was supposed to get them into my life and into my bed.

Fact: Most men are on average 5-7 inches long when erect. That includes BM. Most men who are 8+ inches long are above average.

This means more or less, stories about having a 13 inch monster penis are false. Yes, some men are growers (grow longer when erect) and some men are showers (same size flaccid and erect) but men on average aren’t huge.

Fact: The vagina is no more than 4-6 inches long when stimulated on average. Depth varies per woman. http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/2067.html

http://blogs.webmd.com/womens-health/2009/05/can-vagina-be-too-big.html

So those so called monster penises? Yes, the vagina can expand to accommodate a larger-sized penis but it can be painful. But then, given the average size of a penis, BM on average DON’T have a huge penis like they say.

Anyway, that’s just some very basic biology. BM are priding themselves in having a penis that is abnormal and has a more than 50% chance of being painful.

What exactly does BM get from being famous for their penises? Non-BWs seem to flock to them because of those stories, enabling BM to enter IR relationships. BWs claim that it’s the reason why they won’t leave the “bruthas” for men of other races. It’s an ego boost for men who many times, can’t and won’t compete with non-BM on their level with normal things. Non-BM compete on familial wealth (how old/new is your money? what did you do to gain your money so I can take that information and make more money than you), jobs (working for that promotion), wives (my wife is prettier/smarter/classier/more accomplished than yours), families (my children are here, there, everywhere). It can be friendly, it can be fierce but it enables the men to have something to keep striving for. I’ve been around non-BM of every race from the different social classes and from the poorer to the wealthier, most of them were competing to move ahead and/or stay ahead.

Black men try to enter this race by saying they have bigger penises than men of other races. This shows how deranged and juvenile the BC is because while other cultures and races compete over things that ultimately BUILD their race/culture, penis size drags down the culture. American culture is sex-obsessed and the BC is in many ways more sex-obsessed than the general culture. Not excusing rock and other kinds of music but rap and r&b are basically preoccupied with ways of characterizing sex and the BM penis as vulgarly as possible. Then add in the hood novels and it gives the general culture the rightful view that the BC is focused only on sex, mainly the BM’s penis.

Then on the other hand, penis size isn’t everything. Good sex is more than just having a man thrust into you with his penis, it has to do with good foreplay, understanding between the two of you of what turns you on, etc. Many BM I’ve found in RL and online believe that the be all end all is their penis and screwing you as soon as they could. Foreplay was the means to an end (true for all men), something to be rushed through so they could start sticking you as soon as possible. Then, if you didn’t get satisfaction, it was your fault.

It’s sad that BM have so much tied up in being perceived as having a huge penis. Because, in the end, your penis can be big but that doesn’t make you a man. And many BM know that they fail the common tests of being a man and this is their way of evading reality. Sooner or later though, reality shows up and its not pretty.

Why I hate the word wifey, Part 3 out of 3: A comparison

This will be kinda short.

I don’t watch BET. I refuse to watch Black Embarrassing Television (I may make that a post later). However, with the internet, people talk about the shows on there repeatedly. You don’t even have to visit the black media-oriented blogs to hear about it (I’ve heard about the shows on a couple IR fic themed messageboards). One show in particular is about Toya & Tiny.

Toya is Antonia Carter, ex-wife of STD riddled Lil Wayne. Tiny is the wifey of TI. I’m not defending either of them with this post but I’m making a comparison.

Toya’s the ex-wife of Lil Wayne. They were legally married and are now legally divorced. They have a 10 year old daughter, born while they were teens. She still uses Lil Wayne’s last name and I believe she receives child support and alimony.

Tiny is the wifey/baby momma of TI. She gave birth to two of his sons, lives with him in one of his homes. Yes, she made her own money as a member of Xscape but TI is worth more now than he was when they first got together.

From what I know of their show, both don’t look that good but Toya Carter, even as an ex-wife, is in a better spot than Tiny. Her daughter, even though born before marriage, was legitimized by her parents’ marriage. There’s no doubt who her parents are. Even though Lil Wayne, after his divorce, is busy making lots of lil illegitimate children, she’s the prized one out of his children. Something can happen to Lil Wayne but Reginae, since her mother was married to Lil Wayne, will have an easier time gaining an inheritance than her half-siblings. Toya’s alimony would be affected but her child would pretty much be set.

TI has talked about Tiny as his number one but he’s never even publically talked about marrying her. He’s in jail but he didn’t even marry her before that. They have two children but if something happens to TI and he dies, Tiny has to go to court to prove that her children are his before she can even fight for part of his estate. Given that he has at least 6+ kids, that’ll be a dirty fight. If TI was to become incapacitated, Tiny wouldn’t be able to do anything because as “wifey,” she has none of the legal rights of a wife in those matters.

Lil Wayne and TI are both DBRs in my opinion and my opinions aren’t high for either Toya or Tiny. But Toya was married to Lil Wayne and her daughter’s future is secure. Tiny and her children’s are precarious because if something happens, they are in the cold.

Never let yourself just become the “wifey” instead of a wife. If a man really values you as a wife, he’ll marry you. If he thinks you’re a “wifey,” you’re just playing wife until he finds another woman to make his wife or to play wifey in your place.

Quick Update: MIssing BW: Mitrice Richardson

Found out @ Sara’s Blog (in the BWE blogs)

Mitrice Richardson is a BW that is missing in the LA area. She was released from jail early in the morning on 9/17/09 and is still missing. If you live in that area/know someone in that area, please let them know!

http://www.lasentinel.net/The-Disappearance-of-Mitrice-Richardson.html

http://www.nbclosangeles.com/news/local-beat/Dad-Believes-Missing-Woman-is-Being-Help-Against-Her-Will-60075097.html